Three Months

Dear Boo Boo,

Yes, your official nickname now is Boo Boo, not Bebo - you've evolved! You are growing so fast and becoming so much more social now. You have discovered how to make new sounds, and you are cooing, gooing, ah-ing, and razzing while trying on different levels of volume. I can tell you have a lot to say, although I can't figure out what yet. Your "talking" seems to be pretty content so I thinks it's okay. You're dad really likes to interpret your talking though, which is usually pretty hilarious. Who needs Bruce Willis (aka "Look Who's Talking") when we have your dad. You dad is so adorable with you - he's teaching you valuable lessons like how to scatch your butt and wear pants on your head.



Your hair, your crowing feature and the one everyone stops to comment on, is getting long enough now that it doesn't stick up any more, but that doesn't stop me from making it stick up in the bath tub.



But don't worry, you are cute as a button again after the bath.



One of my good friends was finally able to come by and visit you. A series of events made it seem like it would never happen. But she came to see us and gave you the cutest hat.



Later in the month, we went to see her - your first road trip! And daddy tried out the new baby carrier!

You are getting stronger everyday. You have excellent head control, and love sitting up (supported) and putting weight on your legs. In fact, you are getting less and less content in your little rocker chair and demand to see the world from our point of view.



Your smile continues to light up my world. I love you so much Boo Boo. Stay happy and healthy.


Love,
Mom

Judge shows that Feminism has a way to go yet.

I read two articles today that made me so angry, that I couldn't help posting about it. The first article was about a recent rally in Manitoba protesting a judges remarks during the sentencing of a man accused of sexual assult. The judge basically said that what the accused did was wrong, but the women was asking for it because of what she was wearing! Seriously!

The second article quoted a law professor from the University of Manitoba and why she believes the judge was in the wrong.

I think that Dr. Karen Busey was exactly right when she said,

"That [decision] goes back to suggesting that women are in a state of constant sexual readiness and that sexually active women will consent to sex with all comers. It should have changed 20 years ago. It should have changed 40 years ago. But we can see that it hasn't changed for some," she added, saying the decision makes her sick to her stomach. "Every Friday and Saturday nights, there are lots of women who will dress to go out and to party and they're going to have alcohol, but when they do that they're not saying, 'Oh, and please rape me.'"

The thing I don't think a lot of men get is that, by nature and in general, a man is much stronger than a woman. Without a respect for what a woman says (ie. no) a man has the ability to physically overcome most women - making them feel vulnerable and out of control. To not have a say over what happens to one's body is the most  powerless feeling in the world - one that most adult men never have to endure. Although I have never been sexually assulted, it has crossed my mind from time to time when with boyfriends how vulnerable and weak I am in comparison if I could not trust that the people I was with would respect my will.

For this judge to say, "This is a case of misunderstood signals and inconsiderate behaviour," just re-victimizes the woman all over again. Not only has she been sexually assaulted, but her sexual assault was simply "inconsiderate behaviour". Yeah - it's soooooooooooo inconsiderate to follow a woman into the woods and rape her. What an asshole! How did he end up in a judge's seat?

Lorraine Parrington, who co-ordinates the sexual assault crisis program at Klinic, was quoted in the first article saying:

"Men have to learn women can change their minds, and no, at any point in an encounter, means no. People have a right to change their mind. If I decide that I want to be engaged in certain sexual behaviour with somebody I can do that and I'm allowed to say, 'Stop, I don't want to do it any more.' That needs to be respected."

Exactly! Because a woman's will is all she has in these situations and shouldn't be overcome by the strength and/or desire of the other person - at any time.

30-Day Challenge

I stepped on the scale last week and realized that I have gained 10 pounds since getting back down to my pre-pregnancy weight - which was sooooooo not the plan. Especially since we have a trip to Mexico planned next month.

I will admit that finding time (and energy) to work out and meal plan has been more difficult with a new baby than I anticipated, especially since my mother-in-law left us :o( I think the other thing is it's been sooooooo nice to indulge in some of the foods that I couldn't eat when I was pregnant due to gestational diabetes - can anyone say white chocolate mochas from Second Cup?

However, I am getting sick of living in sweats and maternity clothes. I definitely don't like the number on the scale. To motivate myself, I decided to give myself a 30-day challenge, which started on Feb. 8. The challenge is to find a way to exercise everyday and to improve my eating habits. I have been successful all week with squeezing in 20 minute interval sessions on my treadmill, getting to the mall this week to walk Natalie around in her stroller for an hour (no I was not shopping!), getting outside to walk Natalie in the stroller (so nice to have a break from cold and snow), and getting 3 strength training sessions in. The eating has been off and on this week, but I do have a plan for making up a batch of soup this weekend for lunches next week which will make getting more veggies into my diet for next week a little easier.

While I don't want to turn this into a weight loss blog, I think I need the accountability. Usually I join WeightWatchers for accountability and support to lose weight, but seeing as we're on the maternity-leave budget, I'll have to settle for my blog. I know I have a small audience, but any support you can lend would be much appreciated!

To all you moms out there - what did you do post-pregnancy to feel good in your body again?

Formula Feeding

Okay, so I am well aware of the mommy wars on the internet, on blogs, on discussion boards, etc. I usually do not participate because, well, I don't think mommies should be at war with each other. As parents, our job is tough enough without having to engage in war.

Let me preface this post though by saying I 100% support breastfeeding. I think it is best for babies, that new mothers should be encouraged to at least try it out, and that moms who struggle with breastfeeding get support they need to overcome breastfeeding challenges (if they want to overcome them), and finally support, if they need it, if they decide to give up breastfeeding - for whatever reason.

That being said, when it became obvious that I was not going to be able to successfully breastfeed my daughter, I wanted to do some research about safe formula feeding, find out how much to feed at a time, what bottles were best for reducing gas, which bottle nipples were best, etc. I hadn't thought to do any of this research while I was pregnant because I knew "breast was best" and fully planned on exclusive breastfeeding. I was not prepared for some of the craziness I found when I went looking for information online. I was surprised to find quite a bit of scorn out there for formula feeding moms. I'd always heard that "breast is best" but I had never heard anything against formula.

Oh, I guess there was this one time at a baby shower a few years ago. One breastfeeding mom regaled us with a story about how a formula-feeding mom asked her in the grocery store if she knew where they kept the baby formula. The breastfeeding mom said, "How would I know, I would NEVER feed that POISON to my child." She thought it was funny, but I was pretty shocked that she could be so insensitive to a stranger asking for help. At the time I thought, "Well, at least I won't get those comments because I was planning to breastfeed." Unfortunately, before I even started looking up info on formula feeding on the internet, that was the comment that haunted me as I supplemented my dehydrated baby with formula that first week in the hospital.

I was pretty disappointed that breastfeeding didn't work out for me and Bebo. It doesn't help that even a mainstream book like "What to Expect the First Year" continues to encourage moms to breastfeed in EVERY FREAKING CHAPTER - in my mind this is totally unnecessary because the book opens with a whole chapter on why its important, how to do it, how to prepare for success and trouble shooting if you run into problems. If a mom chooses to discontinue breastfeeding - give her some credit and assume she is well aware of the pros and cons of both breastfeeding and bottle feeding. The message is out there - breast is best - but when it doesn`t work out there is a perfectly good alternative.

Anyway, after wading through tons of information on websites that kept telling me that breast is best and that I didn't/wasn't trying hard enough to breastfeed - I came across a really great website - The Fearless Formula Feeder. It was really nice to find a place that both supported breastfeeding moms, but offered a place where moms who formula feed can discuss issues related to feeding their babies without be banged over the head with their "failure" to breastfeed.

If you have any superiority complex about breastfeeding check out the Friday Fearless Formula Feeder guest posts from women who choose to formula to learn some empathy. Many of the accounts here show just what may be going into the decision to formula feed and how it affects women on a very emotional level. If you are a mom feeling inadequate, judged, or disappointed in the loss of the breast feeding experience, reading this site can be very therapeutic - especially after reading some of the other crap on the internet.