It Gets Better at Brigham Young University

I never went to BYU but I used to be a Mormon. I remember standing up to an institute teacher once when he expressed sadness that a politician had to resign because he said he wanted to turn back the clock and not only make same-sex marriage illegal again but also bring back sodomy laws. I expressed my belief that while same-sex marriage wasn't allowed in our church that I thought it was fine if other churches and the state wanted to do it and that turning back the clock was wrong. I remember emphasizing that our church was supposed to honor free will and that I thought that didn't mean legislated our preferences for marriage and sex. My teacher disagreed with me. I left the church a few months later, not for this reason, for many others, but I'm glad that things are getting better and that at least GLBT Mormons are at the very least able to say who they are and that they aren't getting expelled for it anymore and can even form a community. Good for these brave young people, (who are creating change from within, they are the pioneers not their supposed inspired leaders). I do truly hope it gets even better and that of it doesn't you can feel free to leave this organization behind if it continues to lag behind the more progressive parts of society I accepting you and allowing you to form the family of your dreams, whatever that looks like to you.

Public Schools Introduce Anti-Discrimination Policy for GLBT Youth - Christian program doesn't like it

I've been following the news regarding Edmonton Public School Board's (EPSB) decision to create policy that would protect Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered (GLBT) youth from harrassment, discrimination and bullying at school. Unfortunately, in order to spin a story, the Edmonton Journal chose to focus not on why this policy is needed or how it will help and protect GLBT students, but instead on how the Christian LOGOS program are concerned that the policy "could have a significant, negative impact" on their programming.

With a little searching, I found a discussion document on why the EPSB decided they needed to develop this policy. The rationale for creating such a policy, outside of regular school anti-bullying policy, includes the following points:

1. research that shows that GLBT youth experience significantly more physical and sexual abuse and harrassment in school, have run away from home, have trouble with harmful substances, report more sucidal thoughts, and suicide attempts than their peers.
2. The Alberta Government was the first in Canada to name homophobic bullying as an education concern (surprisingly progressive for Alberta!), in addition all public funded schools in Alberta are legally mandated to provide discrimination-free educational environments
3. Courts are encouraging school to do more than just discipline bullies, but must also "address a pervasive school-wide culture of homophobia, transphobia, and heterosexism."
4. And finally, and to me, most importantly

"Contemporary research demonstrates that vulnerable minority groups have needs and concerns that are seldom effectively addressed by broad “catch all” policies. (...) A specific LGBTT policy and accompanying regulations are necessary to help provide teachers and administrators with the necessary knowledge, strategies, and resources to create safe, caring, equitable, and inclusive learning environments for sexual minority students and employees. In addition, these policies also provide important support for heterosexual students who may come from same-sex parented families. Importantly, the development of specific policy and regulations will also create recommended actions and outcomes from which progress can be measured and evaluated. ... However and perhaps most importantly, as an invisible minority, a standalone policy visibly signals to the LGBTT community that they are a valued and respected part of our school communities.

At the end of the day, GLBTT students and students of GLBTT parents, experience bullying for very different reasons than heterosexual kids. It's often not an issue of just dealing with the class bully who is lashing out - but from overt and subtle discrimination and harrassment from many students, teachers, counsellors, and administrators. This kind of bullying, harrassment, and discrimination comes from a place of bigotry, fear, and homophobia: it is not the same as your run-of-the-mill school-yard bullying (although it can be that too). Teachers and students need different resources and training to deal with these issues to make school a safe place for GLBTT.

I would also venture to guess that GLBTT youth need these policies even more in a relgious enviroment. GLBTT youth who come from religious backgrounds often don't choose their schools - their parents do. Potentialy, these youth cannot get support or help with their feelings from their own family members who may believe that homosexuality is a choice and a sin - wouldn't it be nice if they could find support, help, and community at school - since they might not be getting it at home or church?

I am sad that the publically funded LOGOS program is more concerned about their teachers' rights to "freely [express] their Christian beliefs in the classroom" and thereby contribute to a homophobic culture than to protect the vulnerable youth that are certainly in their midst. Perhaps they can just focus on the many positive Christian beliefs they hold regarding love and charity - and keep their views on homosexuality to themselves in the classroom - leave those beliefs to be taught at church, in the political arena if you feel you must, and in your home. Maybe keep them from vulnerable children who are just trying to discover who they are and get comfortable in their own skin. Although, perhaps you might just choose to focus on your own sins, rather than the percieved sins of others, who may not share your view anyway.

My heart aches of GLBT youth - let's see if we can't help them make it through high school without being tormented - and everyone else too.

For a great opinion piece on this issue please see this.

Why isn't empathy a universal human value?

I just read a sad story about a young man, Tyler Clementi, apparently gay, who killed himself after discovering that his roommate had wired their room and secretly taped and broadcast Tyler having an initmate encounter. I can't imagine that Tyler's roommate would have guessed how Tyler would take this invasion of privacy and public humiliation - I hope he regrets his actions.

I can only guess why Tyler's roommate would do such a thing - did he think it was funny? Perhaps he thought his college buddies would think it was funny, but did he even stop to think how Tyler would feel? My guess is no - or worse, that he knew Tyler would be upset, hurt, and embarassed - but maybe that reaction would just add to the fun. I really can't stand people who think that hurting or embarassing others is fun or funny.

When I was a kid, as young as 5 or 6, my mom would ask me - how would you feel if someone did that to you? I was asked this whenever I let my friends make fun of my sister or other kids. I was asked this when I trampled on the neighbors garden so I could pick their raspberries. I was asked this when I tried to lie to get away with what I wanted - and over time I developed empathy. It took awhile, but eventually, I came to a point where I could truly put myself in someone else's shoes and know what it would feel like to be humiliated, to be hurt, to be embarassed. Some of those lessons came when I, myself, was the brunt of jokes or public humiliation - or when no one would stand up for me. Then I really knew how it felt - and vowed to never, ever make someone else feel that way and I started standing up to bullies, calling people on insensitive comments, or distancing myself from people who were insensitive to other's feelings. I even started reaching out to people who seemed to be lonely and made some really, really cool friends that way. But I hope that people don't have to experience that kind of pain to develop empathy.

The thing about empathy is you really have to consider that someone might take teasing differently than you do. Some things aren't easy to shrug off - maybe they are for you - but not someone else. Sometimes we need to stand up to others who want to humiliate others and say, "I don't want to participate in that." I wonder if Tyler's roommate would have accomplished his "trick" if it weren't for another dorm student who let him use her computer to broadcast shy Tyler's evening with his boyfriend? If she had thought, "how would I feel if someone broadcast me making out with my boyfriend on the internet without my knowledge?" perhaps Tyler would still be alive today. We'll never know.

But for now, I wish that empathy could exist in the hearts of all humans for all humans.