I believe...

I have been participating in a facebook discussion where I challenged the idea that atheists find more acceptence in the world than christians. Of course, with some good-natured ribbing, I got push back from believers who trotted out typical atheist stereotypes - you know the ones I'm talking about...

Atheists

• are angry
• are smug
• don't believe in anything
• don't exist ie. someone said "I don't believe in atheists" (this one always makes me chuckle, as there is more evidence that atheists exist than that god exists)

Anyway, I've been neglecting this blog for far too long and writing about the things I do believe in seemed like an easy thing to post about.

The author of the blog, Releasing Religion, summarizes my feelings well...

"It is a common misconception that to be an atheist is to be a believer of nothing. On the contrary, to be an atheist can be an exquisite search for truth, just as passionate as any religious follower could be."

My atheism definitely started with a search for truth - and the journey was exquisite - sometimes exquisitely painful, exquisitely frustrating, and definitely exquisitely joyful. My journey started with dealing with the uncomfortable experience of facing the cognitive dissonance that was building between what seemed compassionate and real and what my church taught and I believed. Examining my cherished religious beliefs in light of obvious contradictions with my personal values and reality was probably once of the most intense periods of self-reflection of my life. Don't they say that the unexamined life isn't worth living?

My journey to atheism was not an overnight journey - it started with questioning the teachings of my church, broadening my view of what a just god would really be like, then searching for evidence of that god or a community that embraced that view. Finding none, I accepted that organized religion could got hold all that god probably is and slid towards agnostism. Finally I realized that proving god did or did not exist was pointless - the fact of the matter is that either way, it didn`t matter - I didn`t need to believe in god to lead a good life, be a good person, care for others, care for the world and its inhabitants, or to be grounded in values.

Everyone has values - no matter what supernatural powers people do or do not believe in. I`ve found that finding common values regardless of belief is how to build community and find meaning - doesn`t matter where you think those values come from. So without further ado - are are the things that I believe in - in no particular order.

I believe in compassion.

I believe in fairness.

I believe that human beings have the capacity for developing excellent solutions to complex problems.

I believe humans have a responsibility to care for others - because it makes our lives easier when there are people to care for us.

I believe that we need to leave the world a better place (or at least a habitable place) for future generations - because so far, it seems this is only place we humans really have to live.

I believe in working together to find solutions to the problems that face us in the here and now.

I believe in following your heart in a way that does not harm others.

I believe in standing up for people who cannot or will not stand up for themselves.

I believe in human rights and justice.

I believe that discrimination and prejudice should be identified and called out.

I believe that a secular public life built on shared humanist values protects everyone`s right to religion the best.

I believe that religious beliefs are best left to families and churches and that the state should not interfere in these beliefs unless those beliefs are acted upon in ways that infringe on others` human rights (ie. the belief that a husband has the right to beat his wife into submission, or that parents can deny their children medical care, honor killings, etc.)

I believe that men and women are equal.

I believe that children should not be abused and deserve the respect of their human dignity.

I believe that education is important and that the scientific method is really our best way of finding out about and understanding the world and the universe.

I believe in the golden rule - which has found its way into many philosophies and ancient religions and predates christianity.

I believe that there are many right ways to have a family - as long as there is love, support, commitment and fairness.

I do have a bias against religion, I`ll admit it, but I try to be respecful of people`s rights to believe. However, I do not think that religious ideas and ideals are off limits for criticism just because they are called religious. If an idea has merit, it should stand on it`s own, have support in the real world, and not be protected against discussion - as it is simply an idea that must stand on it`s own in the marketplace of values and ideas.

For someone who is an atheist and "doesn`t believe in anything", I find my heart and mind full - I could even say "my cup runneth over."

Peace!

Favourite Posts of 2011

Well, I didn't write as much as I would have liked this year. There is so much I want to research, share and say, and too many unfinished posts. Having a baby has been a great journey, and I love being a secular parent. That doesn't seem to mean much at this stage of the game, but I've had a fun time connecting with secular parents through an incredible large, private group of women from around the world on facebook and immersing myself in reading the blogs listed to the right and learning more about secularism and society from some of my favourite bloggers.

My voice on issues of atheism and secularism is still small and a little tentative, I am quite proud of a few pieces I've written this year. I hope to create this space as a place to use this type of voice more often.

When reviewing my readership statistics for the past year, I was so pleased to find so many hits for
Grief and Atheism.  I poured my heart this piece because it speaks to the humanity we all share, regardless of our beliefs. Believers in god(s) sometimes have the mistaken notion that athiests either don't care about death or devastate us more than themselves because athiests do not have the comfort of religion or god. I haven't found that to be true. I hope that those who read this post were comforted, felt supported, or felt like they understood that athiests do ascribe just as much meaning to their lives and the lives of their loved ones as most folks do - it just might look different.

I had a lot of fun writing The Dilemna of Santa. I think that this is mostly just a dilemma for me although there were some pretty heated discussions about this in the facebook group I mentioned earlier. I tend to overanalyze things too much. My mom thought I was crazy when I started entertaining the notion of "not doing Santa" and what some of my reasons were. This post only sums up my own conclusions of what was actually a very difficult decision-making process where I weighed many of the pros and cons. At the end of the day though, I don't think there is only one answer on this issue.

The Problem with Pretending to Know the Future and Science Doesn't Require Faith! were mostly rants about religious behaviours that annoy me, but I hope to find the courage to approach topics like these more often. I find it difficult to address such topics in a way that expresses my feelings and thoughts in a way that is respectful of religious individuals without offering undue respect to religious beliefs that are not worthy of respect. To be clear, I support freedom of conscious and freedom of belief.  I just do not support the idea that religious beliefs shouldn't be challenged if it is being held out as some of sort universal truth. Religious beliefs, like all ideologies, if promoted as The Truth, should stand up to criticism, testing, and debate in the marketplace of ideas.

And finally, in light of the recent Reddit misongyny event, my post early in the year on Judge shows that Feminism has a way to go yet shows that misongyny still holds a place in even the courts of Canada. It's a pervasive problem in society and needs scrutiny and discussion no matter where it happens - without changing the subject.

I hope to become a stronger voice in 2012; but in the meantime, I'm glad to have gotten my feet wet in 2011.

PS. I didn't forget the cute baby posts.

The Dilemna of Santa

When I first left faith behind me, I felt duped by religion and felt that I really had to learn to protect myself from getting duped again. One of the things I thought that I would do to prevent my future kids from "being duped" was to never lie to them. At the time I thought that might mean not creating the illusion of Santa Claus at Christmas - because I would have to lie to my child to get them to believe in something that isn't true.

Whether or not to "do" Santa during the Christmas season is a common discussion point among atheist and non-theist parents. There are plenty of arguments to go around...

Against Santa

1. Telling my kids that Santa is coming is lying
2. Santa has too many religious connotations (ie. based on a catholic saint, imaginary figure that is judging your goodness or badness, etc.)

For Santa

1. It's fun!
2. I don't want my kids to miss out on this mainly secular part of the holiday.
3. It's part of the magic of Christmas
4. It's an opportunity to see how humans are fully capable of falling for a socially-acceptable myth and figure out the truth on their own.

It's funny, but I am swayed by all these arguments - both for and against. These are all reasons I can understand and appreciate. Really, at the end of the day, I don't think it really matters in the big scheme of things how you spend the holidays - christian or not (as long as you're not encroaching on anyone's human rights).

So, as I said, when I first left faith behind me, I thought I would go the no-Santa route. In talking with my mom and others about this over the past two years, I have seen some push back, but none-the-less I thought, given my values and personal belief,s that I could make Christmas special without Santa, and I think I still could.

However...my memories of Christmases growing up are powerful!!!! My parents put on a really, really good show at Christmas and I LOVED IT! Coming out of my room early on Christmas morning, being so tickled at the sight of a filled stocking, new presents under the tree, and feeling so mystified by how it all happened was pretty magical - and then it hit me!

Magic requires a magician!!!! My parents were magicians!

People who create an illusion without giving away their secret are magicians. We know people aren't really magic, but we still enjoy the illusion. And just like learning about how to do a magic trick - whenever we want to, with some effort and a willingness to let go of the "magic" in exchange for knowledge, can we figure out the trick!

So, I decided to never actually tell my daughter there is (or is not) a Santa, but there will be a filled stocking, a special present that wasn't there on Christmas eve, some eaten cookies, and a lighted, decorated tree on Christmas morning. Society will fill in the rest about who is leaving these gifts and how it is done. Whenever I am asked "how is it done?" "Can one man really fly around the world in one night?" and "is Santa real?", I will turn the question around (as Dale McGowan says) and ask "what do you think?" and give her a chance to take the veil from her own eyes. And hopefully she won't feel tricked or wronged by the illusion - hopefully I can help her understand how fun the game is and what we can learn from it.

And hopefully, she will take those lessons out into the world for her own use.

One Year Old

Dear Boo Boo,

You are one year old! How fast the time did fly. The last two months have been a whirlwind of development for you and getting ready to go back to work for me - craziness. As always, you have handled  all the change splendidly. Your caregivers adore you, you are your normal happy self, and just a joy to be around, whether we are playing, laughing, crying, or snuggling up. 

Through October, we enjoyed the final weeks of our music class, where you were just a little social butterfly. We usually got to class first, and now that you can get around with the funniest little crawl, you would greet each baby and mom as they arrive, very much like this...

You also would go around to test out all the different babies musical instruments during song time. It was adorable and lucky for us, everyone thought it was cute and fun! 

We had a nice long fall this year, which was so great, and I liked to take you outside to play in the leaves.

Thanksgiving was a blast because you got to hang out with your distant (but close) cousin, and the two of you are making fast friends.

And you also, stood all by your self for the first time!

Halloween was next and you rocked a kitty costume!

And then we were soon outfitting you for winter!

Then it was time for mommy to go back to work. We have a great childcare arrangement that allows you to be cared for by a loving woman and spend time with your great-grandfather, as well as see lots of your grandma and grandpa. I love that you have this opportunity to know your grandparents and that they will know you in some of the ways that I know you.

The first week you cried when I dropped you off, but three weeks in, you go willingly, with no tears. You are happy and secure in the presence of your caregivers, and I'm just so proud of you. Leaving you with others, even family, has been much harder than I ever imagined. I miss you, even though we have special time together everyday. I want you to know that even though women can have it all these days, there is always some sacrifice, and it isn't easy, but I want you to know that you have the choice to be and do whatever you want, in whatever way you want to do it. You want for nothing, and you have many, many people to love you and care for you - but always remember, no one will ever love you like I will.

Happy birthday, my beautiful, funny, cheeky girl.

Love Mama

Loving you birthday gift from Mama and Dada

cheeky

who me?

So typical, get a gift, play with the box!

"ooooo"

Secularism

I really enjoyed reading the following about secularism and wanted to share it. I yearn for this kind of culture in our global soceity.

SECULARISM

     Several people have asked me the meaning of this term.

     Secularism is the religion of humanity; it embraces the
affairs of this world; it is interested in everything that touches
the welfare of a sentient being; it advocates attention to the
particular planet in which we happen to live; it means that each
individual counts for something; it is a declaration of
intellectual independence; it means that the pew is superior to the
pulpit, that those who bear the burdens shall have the profits and
that they who fill the purse shall hold the strings. It is a
protest against theological oppression, against ecclesiastical
tyranny, against being the serf, subject or slave of any phantom,
or of the priest of any phantom. It is a protest against wasting
this life for the sake of one that we know not of. It proposes to
let the gods take care of themselves. It is another name for common
sense; that is to say, the adaptation of means to such ends as are
desired and understood.

     Secularism believes in building a home here, in this world. It
trusts to individual effort, to energy, to intelligence, to
observation and experience rather than to the unknown and the
supernatural. It desires to be happy on this side of the grave.

     Secularism means food and fireside, roof and raiment,
reasonable work and reasonable leisure, the cultivation of the
tastes, the acquisition of knowledge, the enjoyment of the arts,
and it promises for the human race comfort, independence,
intelligence, and above all liberty. It means the abolition of
sectarian feuds, of theological hatreds. It means the cultivation
of friendship and intellectual hospitality. It means the living for
ourselves and each other; for the present instead of the past, for
this world rather than for another. It means the right to express
your thought in spite of popes, priests, and gods. It means that
impudent idleness shall no longer live upon the labor of honest
men. It means the destruction of the business of those who trade in
fear. It proposes to give serenity and content to the human soul.
It will put out the fires of eternal pain. It is striving to do
away with violence and vice, with ignorance, poverty and disease.
It lives for the ever present to-day, and the ever coming to-
morrow. It does not believe in praying and receiving, but in
earning and deserving. It regards work as worship, labor as prayer,
and wisdom as the savior of mankind. It says to every human being,
Take care of yourself so that you may be able to help others; adorn
your life with the gems called good deeds; illumine your path with
the sunlight called friendship and love.

     Secularism is a religion, a religion that is understood. It
has no mysteries, no mumblings, no priests, no ceremonies, no
falsehoods, no miracles, and no persecutions. It considers the
lilies of the field, and takes thought for the morrow. It says to
the whole world, Work that you may eat, drink, and be clothed; work
that you may enjoy; work that you may not want; work that you may
give and never need.

                         The Independent Pulpit, Waco, Texas, 1887. Robert Green Ingersoll

The Problem with Pretending to Know the Future

Whenever I come across religious or psychic statements about the future, I am reminded of why I think religion is harmful to society. Recently, I came across this

On the surface, most people, even less religious people, will say - "ah that's nice to believe that good will always overcome evil in the end," but we really don't know that for sure, do we? Seeing what we see on the news everyday, we can see that evil often overcomes good and there aren't a lot of good reasons to believe that this will magically change one day, just because a prophet, the bible, or whatever said so. The only way to ensure that good overcomes evil is to work towards it ourselves by creating a society based on human compassion, social justice, and logic and reason.

Pretending to know the future, in my opinion, is one of the biggest problems with religion and why more people need to speak out against ideas and statements that are of no help to a society that desperately needs it. It is important to challenge these ideas, because the more we let these ideas pass around without comment, they more these religious ideas will sink into the public conscience through social consent for religion.

Believing in an apocalypse, end of times, or even just a final judgement and destruction of this earth are common in North America - it is a tenet of Christianity and many people take it seriously. The biggest problem I see with believing this, is that whenever the world gets in trouble - wars, financial crisis, environmental threats, natural disasters, is that rather than respond to these problems in a constructive way, folks read everyday happenings as "signs of the times" and get busying praying, preaching, and getting people "on the right side" instead of acknowledging that Christianity and all its sects have been predicting the end of the world since the 33 AD and it hasn't happened yet. All these actions are misdirected time and energy that would be better used in solving problems the problems that face us.

And statements like the one made by Jeffrey Holland are only comforting to those on "his team" is divisive and exclusionary. Let's face it he's not talking generally about good guys and bad guys - he's talking about those who agree with his religion and those who don't.

There is no way to know the future, but we all have the power to create one that is better for all human citizens and the ones who come after us.

In Honor of "Read-In Week"

In honor of Read In Week, I would like to share the reasons I love to read and express gratitude to my parents, teachers, and friends who encouraged a love of reading in me as a child.

Reasons I love to read:

1. Enjoying the quiet time to sit and read a good book - this is the best "me time"
2. Exploring new ideas and different ways of seeing the world, a different culture, or a particular issue without having to leave the comfort of my own.
3. Learning about the world, I read at least 1-3 non-fiction books a year.
4. Researching advice on topics of importance to me to solve problems
5. Informing myself about the world
6. Finding new things to talk about with my friends and family

I mostly read for enjoyment, learning, and entertainment. Yesterday, I was reading a blog post on books that groups and organizations have lobbied for banning certain books from American libraries. I was overwhelmed with anger and sadness at these efforts to ban some of my favorite books, including such works as those like To Kill a Mocking Bird, 1984, Animal Farm, Lord of the Rings, Beloved (and other books by Toni Morrison), and Of Mice and Men (and other books by John Steinbeck), as well as many, many others. Someone in the comments of the blog I read said, "If picking up a book is the worst thing your child does, consider yourself lucky." I agree!

So I quickly googled Banned Books in Canada how this list of books being challenged. Now, don't get me wrong, some materials are not age-appropriate for children, and there are definitely some controversial issues discussed in some of the books by the sound of some of the titles but that isn't a good reason for censorship - especially when books like Harry Potter, Star Wars, and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn are included. Also, considering how awesome some of the challenged books on these lists are, I think I'm going to choose a couple of books from these lists for my own "To Read List" and this I do in honor of Read-In Week.

Are some of your favourite books on these lists? I'd love to hear from you!